With Valentine’s Day on the horizon, it’s a worthy question.
It’s definitely not through his stomach, although being a good cook doesn’t hurt.
Many of my single clients are frustrated. They wonder when they will finally meet Mr. Right. The middle aged women are particularly resigned to never finding him. When they ask me what I think, I always reply with the same answer to this ongoing mystery.
You already met Mr. Right!!! I say. Many times!!!! He’s the Right Guy with the Right Lesson at the Right time!!!
You’re looking for Mr. Wonderful, I tell them. And no, not the one on Shark Tank!!
Many women just don’t understand that they are attracting their relationships and the people entering their lives are there for a reason. Yes, it’s for connection, love and romance, but that’s just a fraction of why we unite with the people we do. Our relationship challenges have a very important place in our journeys too. We don’t learn our lessons when things are going well. It’s through hard times and loss that we must pay attention. All our relationships, both brief or extended are designed to teach us and awaken us to our own worth and greatness!
The Law of Attraction is always at work in our lives, whether we are aware of it or not, whether we believe in it or not. There are no exceptions to this law of like attracts like and we are matched by energetic frequencies based on our emotional feeling state. The people we meet and experiences we attract, both good and bad, are in our lives for a reason…to support our growth and evolution.
We all know the story of the shabbily dressed Maiden who was thrust upon an unfortunate life of servant when her father suddenly died and left her with her mean-spirited Step Mother and Step Sisters.
She questioned her fate but she accepted it too. She went about her duties and appreciated the beauty in everything despite the cruelty that was displayed toward her. She was a true visionary and dreamed of a bright future. She didn’t dwell on what she didn’t have and instead accepted what she did have with gratitude.
When the Prince spotted Cinderella for the first time, while in the woods on one of his journeys, Cinderella was nursing an injured bird. He offered her assistance. He could have easily passed her by or had one of his servants assist her, but his kindness led the way. He came from privilege and wealth and yet he led with generosity and heart.
Remember, like attracts like.
The Prince also sought to change things for the betterment for the people of his land. He was a benevolent ruler. And yes, he too was a visionary. Like attracts like.
We can’t overlook the stunning Cinderella that entered the Ball and captured the Prince’s eye as well as his handsome looks and charm, but it was their depth of character and open hearts that attracted them to each other at a deeper level and inspired the Prince to embark on his endless search to recapture the mystery women who hurriedly left the ball leaving behind a single glass slipper. No accident there either. The transparency factor.
Cinderella also believed in her inherent worth, otherwise she never would have had the guts to attend the Ball and dance with the Prince, much less the power to summon the Fairy God Mother. When the Prince placed the glass slipper upon her foot he didn’t question whether he was worthy of her love.
There wasn’t a moment where either of them thought, I’m not good enough. Like attracts like.
Their union in marriage wasn’t just about their love for each other, but for the change and betterment of all the people of the land…..including her step family whose pleas she answered with forgiveness, inclusion and love.
If I could have changed anything about this fairy tale, it would have ended with Cinderella transforming back into the shabbily dressed maiden at the stroke of midnight right before the Prince and all his guests. Not to embarrass or shame her, but for the Prince to embrace her right there on the spot witnessed for all to see. Maybe then, all us little girls wouldn’t have had to struggle to be so perfect. Fairy tales aren’t meant to be perfect either. They have a message and a lesson. It’s up to us to interpret it.
SO……WHAT’S THE KEY TO A MAN’S HEART???
To see his Divinity. His greatness. His heart.
To notice the good and not focus on the bad.
To acknowledge him for what he does do instead of what he doesn’t do.
To drop our negative judgment when he walks through the door at the end of the day because he didn’t come through with everything we wanted, how we wanted it, or because we had a bad day.
To address our own reactive behavior.
To heal our own unresolved emotional wounds so we don’t take our history out on him.
To be kind and loving every chance we get.
To set boundaries with him, clearly defining what we need and want. Men don’t have ESP.
To respect him enough to let him go if we don’t see a happy future with him so that someone else can show him love and kindness and we can get the love and kindness we deserve.
AND MOST IMPORTANT:
WE MUST LOVE OURSELVES FIRST, OTHERWISE WE CAN’T BE LOVING TO ANYONE ELSE. WE CANNOT GIVE AWAY WHAT WE DON’T HAVE TO GIVE.
ALL OF THE ABOVE WILL BRING OUT THE PRINCE IN HIM. AND IF HE APPEARS MORE LIKE A FROG, THEN IT’S TIME TO REEVALUATE. LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE.
This Valentine’s Day, ask yourself,
What can I do to love myself today?
Then do it, and go out and love others!!!!!